I’m among those of you who have always enjoyed movies with a strong leading lady. You know, the women who start out shy but when faced with trials, they come out strong and bold, dripping with heroism. From a very young age, I knew I was born to be one of those women. I felt the saying, “I am woman, hear me roar” deep within me. I was confident, and a little bit sassy about it, if y’all know what I mean. My grandma used to tease me that when my feet hit the floor satan would say, “Watch out! She’s awake.” As if satan actually feared me.
I’ve always had a desire to do great things. An empowerment and boldness, that has driven me full speed ahead. Going to my roots, I think we can all agree that 99% of the time, the career path we dream of as a child isn’t where we end up as an adult. Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Was it something full of compassion and bravery or did it include lots of attention and fame? In grade school, my heart was set on being a teacher. I wanted to teach others the academic necessities while instilling respect and keeping the innocent kindness of a child. In high school, after seeing more than my fair share of bullies and ridicule, my focus began to shift. As I applied for college, my goals were fully redirected toward Business Management. My dream of teaching in a school setting changed to managing in a business setting. I could see myself as the CEO of an elite company. I was going to conquer the world and BE the example of a powerful woman. I pictured myself in killer pumps and a super expensive designer pantsuit, behind an elegant glass desk in a corner office with floor to ceiling windows. I was going to be somebody!
Those of you who know me now probably have an eyebrow raised and are picking your chin up off the floor. Obviously, a few things have changed. So, what happened you ask? Life happened, with lots of obstacles. I adapted and changed to fit my surroundings. I got married and had a baby. My grandma (who raised me) passed away. After a painful separation, I got divorced. My grandpa (who also raised me) moved away to be closer to our family down south. I raised my daughter as a single mom until I remarried a couple of years later. We faced our first big tragedy less than a year after our wedding, when we lost my stepdaughter and unborn grandson to a heart disease. But even with all these obstacles, and these are just the highlights – throw in starting a new job after almost 8 years in one position, an impatient 7 year old with a broken leg and full leg cast in the summer, multiple female surgeries, etc. – the biggest thing that happened to change my goals and dreams was God. He called my name and I answered.
Through all of the ups and downs, I was still the same passionate and driven woman, but God changed my perspective in a very radical way over the past 2 years. Before, I saw a woman making a way for herself, but He already had my path lined out. He transformed my vision of a powerful CEO into a humble servant. Now, some of you may be raising the other eyebrow, but hear me out on this. While God gave me a path of servanthood, I’m still leading in very triumphant ways. The role may look different, but the job is still the same – be a powerful example for women. The power and influence I would have had as a CEO pales in comparison to the power and influence I have through our Almighty God. Stepping into the role He chose for me put me in direct alignment with Him. I may not have felt equipped or worthy when I originally answered His call, but God equips us as He sees our need. In the same way a Kindergartener wouldn’t be able to comprehend algebra, we won’t be able to see God’s end plan for us at the very beginning of the journey. We must rely on Him to give us the right information and instruction at the right time.
Something my husband said while we were on vacation this past week was so profound. It really stuck with me and fit so well with what I had already written above. We (Steven, Ella and I) were standing on the outer hallway/balcony in front of our 20th floor beachfront condo when he was explaining how the ocean has always amazed him. How it just keeps going, there’s no end in sight. I pointed out to the horizon and mentioned to Ella how calm the water looks and how sometimes it even blends with the sky and you can’t see where one ends and the other begins. Ella marveled at it for a minute then excused herself as she was chilly from the gulf wind. What Steven said then really got me thinking. He said it’s amazing how water can be so calm that you can dip your hand in it and it just ripples in tiny rings, doesn’t even make a splash. But when there’s force (waves), the force changes the water and the same water that rippled when your hand dipped in it, can be mighty enough to destroy and sink a ship. He also added points about how it fills every open space when you pour it into a glass. Unlike beads or shells, even soda leaves air bubbles. The glass is not completely filled with other substances, but water fills every nook and crevice, and it does so while staying completely level. <– A little science experiment for ya! Lol!
When we align our goals with God’s plan for our lives, we transform from shoreline waves that fade with the tide into massive, mighty waves that could capsize a cruise liner. (No ships were harmed during the writing of this post! 😆) Obviously, we are humans and full of baggage so this transition doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, it can be a daily struggle to find your alignment (or level ground). I have personally been there. I can tell you it’s tough to let go of some habits. After all the grade school and high school bullying, losing my grandma, getting divorced, becoming a single mother to a young toddler and my grandpa moving 400 miles away, I got into a bad habit of numbing myself to emotional pain. Inside, I was screaming and crying for someone to help me, but on the outside was a rock hard RBF so that no one could tell I was an emotional nutcase. I figured if no one knew, then maybe people would want to be around me, they wouldn’t leave me. Instead of reaching out for help, I told myself I was burdening others by having emotional baggage. When I aligned my emotions and friendships with what God had already planned, I learned a very valuable lesson. A heavy bag isn’t as heavy when you have friends helping you carry it. God never intended for us to carry our burdens alone. We need trustworthy friends who won’t judge us, but more importantly, we need friends who will lead us in the right direction – to scripture!
I’m still on my journey and don’t fully know where I will end up but I’m letting God lead me down the right path. I’m trusting that He will give me the information I need at just the right time. Until then, I will focus on each mission He has given me and pray that I continue choosing to pick up my cross daily. Here are some of my personal daily goals.
- To seek God above all else.
- To follow His example of a Godly wife and mother.
- To share my Holy Spirit Fire. 🔥
- To be a strong female lead for other women.
- To provide Godly encouragement and direction for the women around me.
- To be a non-judgmental Safe Haven for my coworkers.
- To be passionate about leading the way for women on a scripturally sound path.
- To love and appreciate Him, His Ways and His People.
- To bring others with me to Heaven.
Leave a comment below to let me know what daily goals you have now and what you have been inspired to add.
–Walking Boldly by Faith & Finding the Blessings, ❤️ Renee